Chat For Caregivers

When negative thoughts show up, I don’t fight them. I just notice them, say ‘that’s interesting,’ and then gently shift my focus to one thing I’m grateful for or one small thing I can control right now. Fighting them usually makes them louder.

If they keep coming back, I get even gentler with myself. I take a few deep breaths, go do something with my hands — like fold laundry, water plants, or walk the dogs — and give my brain something else to focus on. Sometimes the thoughts just need a little time and movement to fade.

When you’re a caregiver, negative thoughts can hit hard and often — the worry, the guilt, the ‘what ifs.’ I don’t try to push them away. I acknowledge them, take a deep breath, and ask myself: ‘What’s one small thing I can do right now to feel a little more in control?’ Sometimes it’s just stepping outside for two minutes or drinking a glass of water.

When negative thoughts creep in, I turn them into action. When my sciatica flared up and my doctor said I was low on vitamin D, instead of spiraling, I started taking my supplements and moving more. When Dad broke his hip, the worries were overwhelming, but I focused on what I could control — one task at a time. Turning worry into action is what helps me the most as a caregiver.

I’d say a couple years ago I had this strong feeling to reach out to an old friend I hadn’t talked to in years, even though logically it made no sense. Turned out he was going through a really tough time and needed someone to talk to — that call meant a lot to him. Gut feelings are powerful when you trust them. What about you — ever had a moment like that?