Dad had another anxiety attack but I didn’t give into his manipulation. I can’t feel sorry for him. He took 2 hours of my downtime away from me. He is a major manipulator and I am onto him. He is a narcissist and I am onto him. He can’t drive me crazy as he did Mom. I won’t let him.
We went to church this morning. We always get there minutes after Mass starts because I have to get Mom ready first then I can concentrate on myself. As we got out of the car, brother was trying to hurry Dad up. I went ahead with Mom in her transport chair. Brother was egging Dad on to catch up but I reminded him that Dad is slow, slower than usual nowadays. Brother works and isn’t in tune to the day to day changes that are occurring with the parents.
After church we went to breakfast at Dad’s favorite restaurant. After Mom ordered, I had to give her the powder (Cholestyramine) mixed with applesauce because she order a scrambled egg Denver style and pancakes. I didn’t want to have her diahrrea start up again. Anything spicy is a trigger.
After breakfast we came straight home. I was ready to settle in for the day. After half an hour, Dad was ready to go out again. I told him we were not going out. Parents took a short 30 min nap and Dad flossed. Mom was ready to settle in for a long nap. After flossing, Dad asked the caregiver who came in at that time if we were going out. She said no. Dad came to my room and asked if we were going out and I said I wasn’t planning on it. I was very tired, although I did not tell him that. Then the two hour anxiety attack started.
I could not calm him down. I could not leave, he kept following me around. I took his blood pressure 188. Not good. I tried to get him to take a nap. Mom was very ready for a nap. But Dad kept pestering me. So I called my brother who I had warned I would call the next time Dad had an attack so he could maybe calm him down. In all reality, it let him know what I was dealing with. He lives 10 hours away and has a closer relationship to Dad than I ever could. Sports!
After his phone conversation, I decided to call the anxiety hotline, a number I had written down at the height of his anxiety attacks during the covid Stay at HOME ORDER. This is the second time I have used this number since our area opened up 100%. When the nurse on call had finally come on, I handed Dad the phone after explaining what the call was about. After the call, Dad said that she suggested a walk in the driveway would be good. It worked. Dad was calmer. He settled down.
Mom and Dad went into the Den to watch a show, and my brother (who lives here & went to the movies) arrived with dinner. Chicken and potato salad which is the Sunday dinner of choice for Dad. Everything was good, but a few minutes before dinner (served at 5:15) Dad asked brother if he could take him for a ride. At which my brother responded, “I can’t leave the house.” When he went to lay with Mom for their 15 minute “break” before dinner, he told her that I would not let my brother go out of the house. NOT true. My brother realized after I told him what Dad said (I have baby monitors) that he should not have said that. Dad was shifting the blame to me. Brother could have taken him out if he chose to do so.
The rest of the night was calm, but for 4+ hours Dad gave me a reason to leave for good, but I am here for Mom. So we are now in the calm before the next storm.